SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE ON IPOD CAUSES NICKY-BABY TO SWITCH BREAKFAST CEREALS.

A New York-based group of Franco-American subversives found itself the object of media scorn when its latest plot attempt went awry.

The group left a series of subliminal messages on Nicky-baby's iPod that were intended to motivate the lazy Chicagoan to write new entries for his world-famous blog.

"You will post. You will post. You will post."

Instead of stimulating Nicky-baby's creative writing juices, however, the messages merely persuaded him to forgo Kellogg's cereals in favor of Post.

"I was sitting at the breakfast table listening to a Jerry Vale song," Nicky-baby said during an interview at Tavern on the Green. "My mom asked if I wanted my usual bowl of Frosted Flakes. But for some reason, I had a killer craving for Post Grape Nuts instead. And I don't even own a pair of Birkenstocks. Go figure!"

Nicky-baby then exited the interview with current girlfriend--former Night Court star Markie Post--on his arm.

RARE FOOTAGE OF NICKY-BABY AT WOODSTOCK DISCOVERED.

For the past thirty years, rock music historians believed that footage of Nicky-baby's legendary performance at the 1969 Woodstock Music Festival (pictured above) had been lost forever. Last week, however, 81 year old Gerri Tartufo from Utica, NY strolled into Southeby's auction house with a battered film reel cannister under her arm.

"I gots me the lost the Nicky-baby reel!" she shouted as she entered the reception area. "If youse want it, then youse better show me da money!"

The lost Nicky-baby reel has long been considered the Holy Grail of Woodstock footage. Nicky-baby's performance--although it only entailed three, thiry second songs--is considered by many to have been the highlight of the festival. Not because his singing or playing were especially brilliant, but because he performed the entire set while a dentist performed a root canal on his upper-right bicuspid.

"It's cool that footage of my performance has finally been found," said Nicky-baby from his commune near Augusta, Maine. "It was a far-out journey for me and my fellow passengers on this Spaceship Earth. Not that I remember much of the concert, though. I mean...me and Country Joe...we was tripped-out on Novacaine, man. Three days of peace, love and Novacaine, man. Far out! Hey, can I bum a cigarette?"

It's been reported that an anonymous private bidder from Nagano, Japan bought the reel for $1,500,000 during last night's auction. A portion of the proceeds will be donated to the "Captain Beefheart Memorial Scholarship Fund." Send all applications to the attention of Nicky-baby.