Sunday, March 19, 2006

PLAYING BIGFOOTSIE WITH NICKY-BABY.

The mythical creature, Bigfoot--also known as "Sasquatch" by native Americans, "Yeti" by Tibetans, and "George 'The Animal' Steele" by trailer-dwelling rednecks--made a surprise visit to Nicky-baby's tree house last Saturday.

Mr. Foot (who insisted on being called "Big") sought Nicky-baby's counsel on various affairs of the heart. Apparently, a certain highland gorilla at Chicago-area's Brookfield Zoo had tugged on Big's heartstrings through a seductive combination of pheronome secretion and projectile-vomiting. Expert counsel was needed, and noble beast knew exactly where to turn.

"Beat your pectorals with one hand," Nicky-baby counseled, "and fling your poo across the room with the other. There ain't a Simian babe on earth who can resist that one-two puch. I guarantee it."

"Wiiiiildboooy!" Bigfoot shouted. And then--after shaking Nicky-baby's hand--he flexed his hairy thighs and leaped a mile-off into the horizon with a single bound.

The Loch Ness Monster was spotted off the coast of New Buffalo, Michigan just a few hours ago. Rumor has it that his stock portfolio has been suffering lately and he needs some serious financial counseling...from Nicky-baby.

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