NICKY-BABY'S TEAM IS IN FIRST PLACE.

Nicky-baby's soccer team, the Oswego Panthers, tied for first place in the Suburban Chicago Munchkin League when they stuffed the Plano Petunias in a hard-fought game.

The Panthers were trailing 1-0 at halftime, when their coach changed strategy. He pulled out a bag of onions, and demanded that each team member eat one.

When the referee blew the whistle to start the second half, the Panthers blew a cloud of onion breath onto the Petunias' eyeballs. With their opponents temporarily blinded by tears, the Panthers dribbled upfield and scored the tying goal.

Next week, the Panthers play the Morris Marsupials. Nicky-baby has already loaded his gymbag with a bottle of Paul Newman's Creamy Garlic Salad Dressing.

NICKY-BABY'S GIRLFRIENDS: WEEK 11, 2005

The Nicky-baby Love Boat continues to steam its way through the Great Lakes region. Here is a summary of the great lover's "babe-ventory" for the week of March 13-19:

IN:
- Daisy Duke
- Invanka Trump
- Cat Woman
- DesMoines Hilton (i.e., Paris's younger sister)

OUT:
- Brittany Spears
- Serena Williams
- Minnie Pearl

NICKY-BABY'S QUESTION OF THE WEEK.

When will Nicky-baby come visit his uncle, aunt and cousin in Spain?

NICKY-BABY...UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL