NICKY-BABY'S BLOG

my girlfriend

2006-08-18T08:57:00.000-05:00

hay every one sorry i did not put anything new on my blog in a while but now i am writing a new one it is called My girlfreind as u see up top. Her name is Calle Teer i meet her at a race track in morris Illinois her dad races a car there, and my dad is the crew chief. this is not nascar it is midget car racing not the actuall midget it is a kinda car it is kinda small but i could race it but calle dose not want me to because she thinkes that i will get hert doing it, i really want to race but sometimes u have to say... wifes and girlfriends are the boss! if u really love them lisen to them. we have been going out for about a year and a half. her mom says that if u want to marrie my doughter than u better get a good job, like a loyer or a docter because she will cast u millions! and when she said that my jaw wammed agenst the floor i was stunned. but i said i will learn to live with it. and i told calle that our wedding will be atleast a 9 million daller wedding, that that would be the hiest priced wedding in the would. if i am an actor or a famous soccer player the 9 million wedding will happen! so i rally love calle and i hope she feels the same about me. nick

see my avatar.

2006-08-18T08:56:00.001-05:00

Click HERE to see it.

SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE ON IPOD CAUSES NICKY-BABY TO SWITCH BREAKFAST CEREALS.

2006-04-13T09:36:00.000-05:00

A New York-based group of Franco-American subversives found itself the object of media scorn when its latest plot attempt went awry.

The group left a series of subliminal messages on Nicky-baby's iPod that were intended to motivate the lazy Chicagoan to write new entries for his world-famous blog.

"You will post. You will post. You will post."

Instead of stimulating Nicky-baby's creative writing juices, however, the messages merely persuaded him to forgo Kellogg's cereals in favor of Post.

"I was sitting at the breakfast table listening to a Jerry Vale song," Nicky-baby said during an interview at Tavern on the Green. "My mom asked if I wanted my usual bowl of Frosted Flakes. But for some reason, I had a killer craving for Post Grape Nuts instead. And I don't even own a pair of Birkenstocks. Go figure!"

Nicky-baby then exited the interview with current girlfriend--former Night Court star Markie Post--on his arm.

RARE FOOTAGE OF NICKY-BABY AT WOODSTOCK DISCOVERED.

2006-04-04T15:20:00.000-05:00

For the past thirty years, rock music historians believed that footage of Nicky-baby's legendary performance at the 1969 Woodstock Music Festival (pictured above) had been lost forever. Last week, however, 81 year old Gerri Tartufo from Utica, NY strolled into Southeby's auction house with a battered film reel cannister under her arm.

"I gots me the lost the Nicky-baby reel!" she shouted as she entered the reception area. "If youse want it, then youse better show me da money!"

The lost Nicky-baby reel has long been considered the Holy Grail of Woodstock footage. Nicky-baby's performance--although it only entailed three, thiry second songs--is considered by many to have been the highlight of the festival. Not because his singing or playing were especially brilliant, but because he performed the entire set while a dentist performed a root canal on his upper-right bicuspid.

"It's cool that footage of my performance has finally been found," said Nicky-baby from his commune near Augusta, Maine. "It was a far-out journey for me and my fellow passengers on this Spaceship Earth. Not that I remember much of the concert, though. I mean...me and Country Joe...we was tripped-out on Novacaine, man. Three days of peace, love and Novacaine, man. Far out! Hey, can I bum a cigarette?"

It's been reported that an anonymous private bidder from Nagano, Japan bought the reel for $1,500,000 during last night's auction. A portion of the proceeds will be donated to the "Captain Beefheart Memorial Scholarship Fund." Send all applications to the attention of Nicky-baby.

PLAYING BIGFOOTSIE WITH NICKY-BABY.

2006-03-19T17:03:00.000-06:00

The mythical creature, Bigfoot--also known as "Sasquatch" by native Americans, "Yeti" by Tibetans, and "George 'The Animal' Steele" by trailer-dwelling rednecks--made a surprise visit to Nicky-baby's tree house last Saturday.

Mr. Foot (who insisted on being called "Big") sought Nicky-baby's counsel on various affairs of the heart. Apparently, a certain highland gorilla at Chicago-area's Brookfield Zoo had tugged on Big's heartstrings through a seductive combination of pheronome secretion and projectile-vomiting. Expert counsel was needed, and noble beast knew exactly where to turn.

"Beat your pectorals with one hand," Nicky-baby counseled, "and fling your poo across the room with the other. There ain't a Simian babe on earth who can resist that one-two puch. I guarantee it."

"Wiiiiildboooy!" Bigfoot shouted. And then--after shaking Nicky-baby's hand--he flexed his hairy thighs and leaped a mile-off into the horizon with a single bound.

The Loch Ness Monster was spotted off the coast of New Buffalo, Michigan just a few hours ago. Rumor has it that his stock portfolio has been suffering lately and he needs some serious financial counseling...from Nicky-baby.

my lip injury

2006-03-02T17:01:00.000-06:00

hay, I was playing on the slide, lemon squash. and 2 people went down at once and someone went off and I slipped and they squashed me and I hit another kids head and i'm left with 5 stiches, and he did not have one scratch.

The crazy girl

2006-01-27T14:40:00.000-06:00

Hi, as you know my title is "The crazy girl" that crazy girl is... um... i don't think you want to know who that is. do you want to know who that is? O.k... she is carissa leeigh robbins. Is that not funny? In pre k I tied her to a tree with her sweat shirt and took her shoe and threw it over the fence. those days were FUN!!!!

The best friend award goes to...

2006-01-17T15:53:00.000-06:00

Hi, as you know my title is "the best friend award goes to..." and the best friend is... Austin DeGroote. Our familes are going to there cottige in Michigain this summer, he is going to bring his dirt bike and we are going to rent a quad for me. they have a dirt hill there. We just had a sleep over on Sunday. I am really looking forward to going to there cottige.He has a sister and a brother.

sincerly,

nick

fish fish fish

2005-12-24T14:32:00.000-06:00

Hi, my name is Nick I am glad my uncle Sal made me this website.

As you know my title is fish fish fish. My favorite day of the year is Christmas Eve. It is my favorite day for a reason. All we have is sea food. (and spaghetti) but mostly sea food "yum" my favorite sea food is clams and shrimp. Our appetisers are usally clams and shrimp.

My birthday is on the first of December. So I get a lot of presents in December. I got a PSP (playstation portable) for my birthday. I was allowed to buy it from my nonnie and poppie.

I am interested in cooking now. Now I am cooking for Christmas Eve and Christmas.

Happy holidays

Nick DeTraglia

HOMEWORK DAY

2005-08-27T20:28:00.000-05:00

That is me in 4 th grade doing homework as you can see. It is a lot!!!!! That is me with a lot of hair. I am in my new made over room. I just want to thank my uncle sal for making me the website. Ha ha all right. Ha ha that's all folks.

INÉS WINS "NICKY-BABY LOOK-ALIKE CONTEST!"

2005-07-28T04:19:00.000-05:00

La señorita Inés is not only Spain's most beautiful girl...but she is also the winner of the "2005 Nicky-baby Look-alike Contest."

Here we see Inés's prize-winning photo; which was unanimously praised by a team of distinguished judges that included Milton Friedman, Saul Bellows and former Happy Days star Anson Williams.

Inés will make a guest-appearance at Celozzi-Ettleson Ford's Melrose Park, Illinois dealership on August 7. Autographs will be subject to a $15/letter fee. Make all checks payable to "Nicky-baby."

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS CHIN?

2005-07-20T17:17:00.000-05:00

If so, then please call Nicky-baby at 555-1367.

A $50 reward will be given for any information leading to the chin's return...to Nicky-baby!

NICKY-BABY NOMINATES UNCLE SAL AS "DUDE OF THE YEAR."

2005-07-19T16:49:00.000-05:00

With tears streaming down his cheeks, Nicky-baby took the stage before a capacity crowd at Chicago's B'nai B'rith Temple last night and announced the following:

"My Uncle Sal should be awarded 'Dude of the Year!' And if anyone has a problem with that, I'll give ya a Reebok enema!"

The crowd agreed--with the award, that is. Not the enema.

Uncle Sal (pictured above in 2003, when he became the first man to climb Mt. Everest while drunk) is well-known in the Chicago area for his dudeliness. Born in 1956 in the rural backwaters of southern Mississippi, he hitch-hiked his way to Chicago in 1957 with $5 in his wallet and a rusty harmonica in his front pocket. At least, he says it was a rusty harmonica.

Uncle Sal was a spent several years as a session musician with Chess Records, until blues-legend Blind Dog Kitty Litter, Jr. invited him to play marimba on his 1961 Southeast Asian Communist Tour. During such tour, Uncle Sal asked for a night off in order to visit a Burmese monestery under the pretext that "They make a great buffalo mozzarrella." He was not seen again until the Live Aid concert in 1985, when he shocked the world by leaping onstage and blasting the harmonica solo for Culture Club's song "Karma Chameleon"--albeit, in the wrong key.

Since then, Uncle Sal has been a regular guest on the Rosie O'Donnell Show and is frequently seen conducting Iyengar Yoga lessons for septegenarian bunnies at the Playboy Mansion.

The 2005 "Dude of the Year Award" will be presented to Uncle Sal on September 25 in Skokie's Royal Order of Moose Club. This is the first such award for Uncle Sal, although he did win the "Dud of the Year Award" in 1977.

NICKY-BABY'S TEAM IS IN FIRST PLACE.

2005-03-13T10:25:00.000-06:00

Nicky-baby's soccer team, the Oswego Panthers, tied for first place in the Suburban Chicago Munchkin League when they stuffed the Plano Petunias in a hard-fought game.

The Panthers were trailing 1-0 at halftime, when their coach changed strategy. He pulled out a bag of onions, and demanded that each team member eat one.

When the referee blew the whistle to start the second half, the Panthers blew a cloud of onion breath onto the Petunias' eyeballs. With their opponents temporarily blinded by tears, the Panthers dribbled upfield and scored the tying goal.

Next week, the Panthers play the Morris Marsupials. Nicky-baby has already loaded his gymbag with a bottle of Paul Newman's Creamy Garlic Salad Dressing.

NICKY-BABY'S GIRLFRIENDS: WEEK 11, 2005

2005-03-13T10:18:00.000-06:00

The Nicky-baby Love Boat continues to steam its way through the Great Lakes region. Here is a summary of the great lover's "babe-ventory" for the week of March 13-19:

IN:
- Daisy Duke
- Invanka Trump
- Cat Woman
- DesMoines Hilton (i.e., Paris's younger sister)

OUT:
- Brittany Spears
- Serena Williams
- Minnie Pearl

NICKY-BABY'S QUESTION OF THE WEEK.

2005-03-13T10:01:00.000-06:00

When will Nicky-baby come visit his uncle, aunt and cousin in Spain?

NICKY-BABY...UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL

2005-03-01T17:26:00.000-06:00